Valis

I bought this game at the markets down the road from my house. I had never heard of the game but knew I needed it for my collection. It cost me four dollars and came with Sonic 2 and Double Dragon! Score!

I must say, having not heard of this game previously I assumed it would be a crappy space game. I was pleasantly surprised to find it to be a side scrolling fantasy game, where you play a female lead character in a very short skirt. I was also happy to find out that this bitch packed some serious heat and by heat I mean a mean mother fucking sword.

Along the way you pick up various power ups to your swords which help destroy the enemies easier along the way. The only major problem with these power ups is that you appear to be able to down size your sword to a lower leveled sword which fires different projectiles to the previous one you held. This is frustrating as when you have a level 3 arrow sword that homes into the enemy you may accidentally pick up a crappy laser sword which only fires a laser horizontal once every three to four attacks. Then you have to wait until you can find a better sword and begin the power up quest once again. You also have the ability to perform special attacks which add an extra level of fun to the game. You pick these up along the way after each boss encounter and the better the special attack the more special power you use up. Special power and health power ups are plentiful throughout the game.

The enemies are of a medium difficulty. Not too hard but when there are enough of them on screen and you have the wrong sword they can kick your ass. Luckily your character has a decent life bar and can withstand a fair amount of damage. The main boss stages are pretty fun. They have cool special attacks that are awesome to see and I especially enjoyed kicking the double headed dragon’s ass. They again are of a medium level difficulty. Once you suss out the pattern it’s just a waiting game until you kill them. However, I did get stuck at about the fifth or sixth boss. A likewise female with a similar attack and no matter what I did she kept making me piss! After about seven tries I gave up.

The controls weren't too bad overall. I found them to be fairly responsive. The jump wasn't perfect and had a minor lag and occasionally I found myself sliding instead of attacking but that may have been my big fingers hitting the wrong button.

I wasn't completely horrified by the sound track. Each world had a different tune but each world had three stages and by the end of the third stage I was more than happy to hear something different. A nice addition was a different tune to alert you when you are on low health. It’s just nice to know in the heat of battle when shit gets real. You know that feeling in Sonic when you’re underwater and the music speeds up and you start shitting yourself… memories.

The graphics were pretty average and a little bland overall but the play-ability helped me ignore this issue and continue playing the game.

Overall this game was a pleasant surprise and helped me pass thirty to forty five minutes. I walked away with some fond memories and may play this game again in a couple of years. Four bucks well spent.

Graphics 14/25 | Soundtrack 15/25 | Game Play 20/25 | Controls 19/25

Overall 68/100 – C+